


To Hold You Up

by callaina



Category: Naruto
Genre: 90 Mins To Gift, Developing Relationship, Discord: Umino Hours, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Umino Iruka, Post Shuriken Incident, Trans Umino Iruka, Umino Hours Exchange 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24342859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callaina/pseuds/callaina
Summary: A faint blush had crept onto Kakashi’s cheeks and Iruka was hopeless in how badly they wanted to kiss him. But they waited. Whatever Kakashi had prepared, it was making him nervous. This was clearly important to him.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 7
Kudos: 95
Collections: 90 Mins To Gift - Iruka's Birthday





	To Hold You Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MagnusTesla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusTesla/gifts).



> i took part in the Umino Hour's discord server event to create a gift for Iruka's birthday in ninety minutes! as a writer who is always anxious about their work, i had so much fun and was surprised at how little anxiety i had about this!
> 
> key words i had to include were: seal + purple

Iruka smiled.

Kakashi smiled back. “What?”

“Nothing, really. It’s just unusual to see you come through the door instead of the window.”

Iruka said it without thinking and Kakashi’s eyes widened a little. A second passed, and another one – and then they were both laughing, the sounds bubbling out of their chests. Kakashi lifted his gloveless hand and scratched at the bridge of his nose, flustered. “They sealed the windows, so, uh – “

Oh. Right. Iruka’s gaze automatically flittered to the window next to their bed. There was a tree outside, its branches sweeping against the glass every now and then, when a gust of wind was strong enough to bring them to waver. Behind them, a grey sky.

The sun was hiding today, Iruka guessed. They didn’t know what time it was, and they hadn’t asked the nurse who came for the routine check-in in the morning.

The pain was better. Manageable. Iruka could have had another IV if they just asked for it, they knew. But if there was no pain they were prone to wake up from another disoriented nap and _forget_ ; forget what had happened, forget why they were here, or worse, confuse it with another hospital stay responsible for the halfmoon-scars across their chest because the joy that was linked to that, the relief – no. Iruka didn’t want it associated with the wound on his back, with whom had put it there.

“Iruka?”

Slowly, Iruka turned their face back towards Kakashi. An invisible force squeezed at their heart, at the sight of Kakashi unmasked, at the sight of Kakashi’s unkempt mane, at the light scar tissue, at the unsure expression in his eye, at his hands resting on the cover next to Iruka’s body. Not quite touching, but there, wanting to learn.

From the moment Kakashi came into Iruka’s life, he had wanted to learn: when there was pain for Iruka and how he could help with it; when they were talking past each other and hurt each other with heated words; when Kakashi was stumbling back into old patterns and shut himself off although he wanted to let Iruka in so desperately.

Not once did Iruka think that the gossip around the village was justified, and somewhere inside them a well of anger threatened to splash over whenever there was another pointed look, another rumor, another hint at Kakashi being a cold-blooded killer.

Kakashi took Iruka’s staring as a sign that he had their attention and moved to pull something from inside of his vest.

“I know you didn’t want anything – “

Iruka already knew where this was going. “Kakashi,” they warned, although their voice sounded more pleading.

“ – but, okay, can we – I would have given it to you sooner or later. It’s just a coincidence that it’s on this day. Seriously.”

A faint blush had crept onto Kakashi’s cheeks and Iruka was hopeless in how badly they wanted to kiss him. But they waited. Whatever Kakashi had prepared, it was making him nervous. This was clearly important to him.

Kakashi revealed a scroll. Their fingers met as Iruka took it, glancing at Kakashi as if to ask whether they should open it now, and Kakashi nodded.

The first five days after Mizuki had impaled them with a fuma shuriken, Iruka was confined to their bed flat on their stomach. It was a bit like floating – the anesthesia, the pain medicine afterwards – so they had not minded the position much. A brief thought crossed their mind how it would have been much less comfortable with their chest before getting their top surgery. But as soon as that thought came in, another followed: the body that they were given was theirs, with all the voluntary and involuntary changes to it. They didn’t have to love it, but they didn’t hate it either. And another scar on their back would add to them in a way Iruka had not considered yet. A scar to remember that Naruto had survived. Survived his parent’s death, an abandoned childhood, an attempt on his life, and there he was, still so full of love that Iruka couldn’t even begin to grasp it.

Now, after the wound had proven to be closing well and not to be infected, Iruka was allowed into a sitting position with guidance. This is were they were resting now; their back cushioned against a giant pillow and the duvet pooling in their lap.

As Iruka’s fingers lit up with light blue chakra, the scroll unrolled itself and all but disappeared, momentarily stealing away Iruka’s and Kakashi’s visions. As the fog lifted, for the smell distinctively declared it as not-smoke, Iruka found an entirely different thing covering their legs.

Iruka stared at the blanket in their hands. It was sewn together out of blue and purple pieces of fabric, connected in a patchwork, creating an illusion of tidal waves uncovering what could be hiding in the deeper waters. Iruka’s heart was stuck in their throat as their fingers slowly moved over one of the countless seams holding it together. They clutched at it then, snapping their head back up.

“Kakashi?” Iruka’s voice wavered.

The rosy color on Kakashi’s cheeks was nothing compared to the red on him now. “I know it’s not much, but you’ve been freezing a lot lately. I tried to get Gai to teach me how to knit but – “ He cleared his throat, pointing at the blanket. “Let’s not get into that now. In the end I asked Naruto for help and we couldn’t decide on one pattern so… And I might have read through some of your sealing notebooks.” To demonstrate, Kakashi flipped one corner of the blanket and pointed at a patch that appeared to be a seal embroidered on fabric. “I put heat seals on it, and it will keep you warm for hours with just a bit of chakra. It works, I’ve tried it.”

Iruka tried to speak, to open their mouth to tell Kakashi how much – how much this meant to them, how much thought Kakashi had put into this – but instead, their eyes watered up and soon the first tear spilled over.

Kakashi, immediately alarmed, leaned closer to Iruka from where he was sitting on the bedside chair, and hesitantly, so carefully grasped their hand. “Iruka? I’m sorry, Iruka – “

“I love it,” they croaked. And with their hands clasped together, Iruka used their other hand to lift the blanket up and bury their face in it. They were still crying as they breathed in. “It smells like home. It smells like you _._ ”

How had Kakashi managed it? How had he torn through Iruka’s walls like they were to be respected and to be dismantled at the same time? How had he taken Iruka’s fear of being a burden to the ones they loved, of being abandoned as a consequence, and proved Iruka wrong again and again?

Iruka brought the blanket away, aware that their face must be a blotchy mess, strands of their long hair sticking to their temples, but they didn’t care. “I love it so much. Kakashi, I love _you_.” They reached for Kakashi, cupping his face with their palms and drew them towards themselves. “I love you. Thank you.”

Kakashi looked at them like Iruka had put the moon to the night sky over Konoha. And Kakashi kissed them. And kissed them. And kissed them again. Soft brushes of their lips against each other, breaths intertwining.

“You have to know that you are very loved,” Kakashi murmured after a while, when he was lying next to Iruka on their hospital bed. It was a tight fit, but Iruka loved to tangle their legs together, to run their fingers through Kakashi’s hair. Kakashi had his eyes closed and basked in Iruka’s touch, and they suppressed a laugh at the dog-like mannerism, not wanting to unsettle the cozy atmosphere. So Iruka just hummed and brushed a few strands away from Kakashi’s forehead.

Kakashi looked up at them, then.

“I love you, ‘Ruka. Happy birthday.”

**Author's Note:**

> please note that Iruka is nonbinary trans in this fic and uses they/them pronouns. it goes without saying, but every nonbinary person's experience is different and should not be generalized. the fact that Iruka had top surgery does not make them any more or less trans/nonbinary than folx who haven't had top surgery. if you want to leave a comment, i would appreciate if you could refer to Iruka through they/them pronouns! thank you for reading!


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